Providing Support to a Student Disclosure

Below is a list of simple things you can do to support a student who chooses to disclose to you.  All the information below will help the student begin their healing journey in a healthy way.

Listen without judgement

Listening is one of the most important things you can do to support the student.  Often, survivors fear being judged.  Let them decide how much information to share with you, do not pressure them to share more details.  You have an awesome opportunity allow them to begin their healing journey.

Validate how they are feeling

There are many possible feelings they may share, and all feelings are valid.  There is no right or wrong way to feel.  They may wonder if they are overreacting or may be confused by how they feel.  Let them know any feeling is normal.

Believe what they are saying

Letting them know that you believe them is very important.  Often, survivors fear no one will believe them.  Victim-blaming contribute to this fear.  Victims/survivors are never to blame for what happened and letting them know that will help them in their healing journey.

Thank them for sharing

It takes a lot of courage for someone to share a very personal experience.  Let them know having the strength to share will be an asset to their healing journey.

Keep it confidential

Let them know you will not share their information with anyone else, other than to report as a required reporter (see – could link to “how to report” or flowsheet, and/or faculty resources to be developed for PE website).  Disclosure is not an easy thing for survivors, and it is important that they can trust you to keep it confidential.

Discuss safety options

Ask the student if they feel safe.  If safety is a concern, let them know there are resources to address safety.  If the disclosure involves stalking or relationship violence, it is important that they talk with someone about safety planning.  The Title IX office can offer safety planning support and resources.

Support their decision on how to proceed

Aside from your obligation as a required reporter, support them in making their own decisions related to filing a formal complaint, reporting to law enforcement, and/or seeking medical attention.  This can allow them to take back the power they have lost from the incident.

Ask permission to follow up with them

After sharing with them your obligation to report to Title IX, if applicable, ask them if they would like you to follow up with them to check in on how they are doing.  It can be validating to them when you let them know you take their disclosure seriously and care about their wellbeing.

Provide resources and information

There are several resources and options available to them.  Refer them to the Title IX or Project EMBRACE website. The Title IX office will provide resources and information as well. 

Take care of yourself

Supporting someone during a disclosure can be hard on you.  There are resources available through Title IX, Project EMBRACE, and Human Resources. Utilize the supports so you can keep yourself healthy!

Additional tips on what to avoid

• Avoid unsolicited contact
• Avoid making comments about the alleged perpetrator
• Avoid sharing personal information
• Avoid asking too many questions
• Avoid making promises about the outcome

Examples of what you can say

• I believe you
• I am sorry this happened to you
• I can imagine this has been difficult
• It is not your fault
• How can I help you?

How to let them know you are a required reporter

It is very important to let the student know as soon as possible if you are a required reporter on campus.  Here is an example of how you could share this:

“I apologize for interrupting, but I feel it is important for me to let you know that I am required to report your disclosure to the Title IX office.  Our goal is to ensure you receive the support and resources you may need.  There are confidential resources available, and I can share those with you, if you would like.  You can choose how the Title IX office gets the information, you can contact them on your own, I could go with you to their office, or I can share it with them directly.  As a part of my obligation as a required reporter, if you decide to go to their office on your own, I will have to follow up with them in about a week to make sure you met with them.”

For additional information: Project EMBRACE