Month of Gratitude Email Series November 2018
Grateful
“It is not happiness that makes us grateful; it is gratefulness that makes us happy.” David Steindl-Rast, OSB
In today’s world, many people seem to be engaged in a frantic search for happiness. In our exploration, we can look to the theological realm – scripture and the wisdom of church fathers and mothers such as St. Benedict, Hildegard of Bingen and contemporary theologians. On the secular spiritual level, scientists are now exploring what constitutes happiness using the scientific method. One such researcher is Robert Emmons, who has found that “living gratefully is the master key to happiness.”
Have you found a way to reconcile a sense of gratitude for the beauty of nature and meaningful relationships with the suffering you see in the world? With the suffering you experience in your family and community? Grateful living may be one approach to discovering serenity and happiness in a sometimes broken world.
One tool for deepening and broadening grateful living is to keep a gratitude journal in which we make weekly entries of moments, encounters and observations that inspire gratitude. This need not be a laborious process and weekly is more effective for most people than daily. Gratitude journaling requires only that we pay attention to gratitude-inspiring events from the small (a smile) to the big (feeding people who are hungry, housing people who are homeless). This can help us orient ourselves to the positive and give us a greater awareness of life’s gifts. For guidance on keeping a gratitude journal see gratefulness.org. For additional insights on gratitude see greatergood.berkeley.edu.
What moments, encounters and/or observations have you made or received this week that inspire gratitude?
Gratitude
“Gratitude is the recognition of all that holds us in the web of life.”
“Gratitude moves us away from the narrow-minded focus on fault and lack into the wider perspective of benefit and abundance.”
“Grateful people do not seem to ignore or deny the negative aspects of life; they simply choose to appreciate what is positive.”
– The Book of Joy by Douglas Carlton, with the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu
It is amazing that these spiritual leaders can hold these sentiments in light of the extreme suffering they have undergone: the Dalai Lama exiled from his people and country and Desmond Tutu who, after decades of suffering apartheid, chose peace and reconciliation rather than revenge to help South Africa heal. Archbishop Tutu sees us on a journey of “Ubuntu,” which acknowledges our interconnectedness.
Eucharist comes from the Greek word ‘thanksgiving’. Giving thanks is important in the Judeo-Christian tradition and central to Catholic worship. When we rejoice and are grateful, we are much less likely to take life for granted.
In the scientific world, Professor Robert Emmons from the University of California, Davis, reports that people who focused on gratitude by keeping a list of what they were grateful for exercise more often, had fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives and are were positive about the week ahead compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events. It seems, therefore, that gratitude is motivating. Grateful people report more positive emotions, more vitality and optimism and greater life satisfaction as well as lower levels of stress and depression.
What wrongs have you experienced in your life that have given you the opportunity to respond with forgiveness, gratitude and love?
Be Loved
“Christian formation is not based on willpower, but on the acceptance of salvation, on letting oneself be loved.” – Pope Francis in general audience on June 27, 2018
In his recent encyclical, Gaudete et Excultate, published on April 9, 2018, Pope Francis calls us to holiness and lays out a path for us to follow. He counsels us both to love and to let ourselves be loved. Grateful living gives us opportunities not only to give love but to accept love.
One path to holiness is living the Beatitudes. In today’s world, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God “ (Gal 5:14) is particularly relevant. We are daily called to build peace within and among ourselves, our families, our communities and the broader society.
One group actively involved in peacemaking in our fractured political world is Better Angels. This organization brings together people from different political persuasions and focuses on creating new understanding; there is not an attempt to convert the other. Through group process, Better Angels has reduced fear and anger one person at a time. In the words of Abraham Lincoln in his first inaugural address in 1861, “We are not enemies, but friends. ... Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory … will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”
It is not easy to make peace on Jesus’ terms; it excludes no one, not even those who are different from us in color, religious beliefs, sexual or cultural orientation. It “embraces even those who are a bit odd, troublesome or difficult; demanding; beaten down by life or simply uninterested.” There is no room for ingratitude, revenge, lack of charity or injustice in the life of a peacemaker.
The Holy Father calls on us to be “artisans of peace, for building peace is a craft that demands serenity, creativity, sensitivity and skill; sowing peace all around us: that is holiness.”
Pope Francis suggests a way to pursue peace in an address he gave at an observance of the establishment of the international Benedictine Confederation. He told the assembly: “When people are so busy they do not have enough time to listen to the voice of God, your monasteries and convents become like oases, where men and women of all ages, backgrounds, cultures and religions can discover the beauty of silence and rediscover themselves, allowing God to restore proper order in their lives.” The Spirituality Center at Saint Benedict’s Monastery can be this for CSB alumnae.
Have you encountered peacemakers in your life? Have you had opportunities to choose peacemaking over revenge?
Courage
“ ‘Courage’ like its Latin meaning, ‘heart’ – is at the center of your being. Continually enlarge your capacity for courage by continually enlarging your heart.” – Linus Mundy, Everyday Courage Therapy
Think back to the times in your life when you have been nervous to do something: start a new job or business venture, buy a house, get married or have children. … Those were likely instances when the situation was actually very exciting and filled you with joy, but taking the first step required you to search deep within for the courage. From within ourselves comes the strength and courage. Our heart has the ability to grow in ways we never thought. We see that when we meet our child for the first time, or find the courage to pursue our passion in life or quit a well-paying job to become a business owner.
Love multiplies. Love grows. It does so in ways we never imagined, in times of struggle and in times of joy. Our courage multiples and grows. CSB President Mary Dana Hinton wrote about leading from the heart, published in the St. Cloud Times on April 28, 2018. She encouraged each of us to be courageous leaders and make important connection of human beings, beginning with the heart.
Do you remember a past experience where you had to show your courageous face and heart full of love? Wasn’t it wonderful to know that when you act courageous, you are also acting with love?
Be You
“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” – St. Catherine of Siena
St. Catherine of Siena was a member of the Dominican Order. She is a very influential writer in Catholicism and one of four women declared to be a doctor of the church. From a very young age, she knew she wanted to devote herself to God, against the will of her parents.
What if St. Catherine of Siena had listened to her parents and did not devote herself to God? She knew what God meant for her to be, she followed that path and set the world on fire!
We have desires and hobbies and interests. Our interests are not the same as our neighbors’. We're not meant to be cookie-cutter versions of one another. God made each of us interested in something different, intended to use our talents and treasures to the best of our abilities, blazing a trail of success. No doubt there have been moments in life where we felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole – trying to grow where people tell us, fit in where we’re meant to stand out. It’s an unstoppable, invigorating feeling when we acknowledge our true passion and set foot on the path toward what God intended for us.
Simple Things in Life
“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh. – A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
There’s beauty in the simple wisdom of Winnie the Pooh. He took enjoyment from the simple things in life; a pot of honey, or a nap, or a walk through the Hundred Acre Wood. He was never rushing, bouncing around like Tigger. In life, are we more like Winnie the Pooh or Tigger? Do we delight in the simplicity of today?
Rise each morning with a sense of wonder and anticipation of what the day might bring. A bright smile from a stranger? A vibrant sunset? Dinner with a cherished friend? Our most valuable gift is the 24 hours of today.
Today is a wonderful day and there is much to be grateful for. Maybe we just need to be reminded of this and slow down. Fridays are often a favorite day because it's the start of the weekend – time to relax and have fun. Some days we may think, “I can’t wait for Christmas!” or “I can’t wait until the kids graduate.” But what can we find in our mundane, daily routines of going to work or school, running errands, making supper or cleaning house?
You can make today beautiful. Once today ends, we'll never get the day back and it becomes a memory. Enjoy today. Make today your favorite day.
Cherish Weaknesses
“So let us go quietly, each on his own path … and not being too troubled by our weaknesses, for even he who has none, has one weakness, namely that he has none, and anyone who believes himself to be consummately wise would do well to be foolish all over again.” – Letter from Vincent van Gogh to his brother Theo, c. 1878
Throughout his life, Vincent van Gogh endured frequent periods of severe depression and emotional distress. In his letters to his brother, his main supporter both financially and spiritually, Vincent describes feeling as though his art is suffering because he is too weak to overcome his “moods.” Yet, in this passage early on in his painting career, Vincent takes a moment to encourage us all to cherish these perceived weaknesses, and to reframe them as unique tools for growth. For, he says, a man (or woman) without weaknesses is weakened by the lack thereof – he or she has nothing to grow from.
While we may feel as though our weaknesses prevent us from being the versions of ourselves we may idealize, let us take a moment in this season of gratitude to be grateful for them. Let us meditate on the possibilities for growth they inspire in us, and the lessons we have learned from our experiences being weak. Who have we needed to lean on for support when we feel weak? What have we learned about ourselves through this process?
Think of a time recently when you felt frustrated or weak. What has changed for you now? How would you experience it differently if you were given the opportunity to be “foolish all over again”?
Moving Forward
“So Merlyn sent you to me,” said the Badger, “to finish your education. Well, I can only teach you two things – to dig and love your home. These are the true end of philosophy.” -T.H. White, The Once and Future King
In T.H. White’s classic tale of King Arthur, a young Arthur is transformed into several different animals, each with a tale to tell and a moral to share. The last of these lessons is taught by the Badger, who values, above all else, digging and home.
In our own, non-fantastical lives, it may not take a magical Badger to teach us the value of moving forward (to dig). At each of the countless stages of life at which we find ourselves, there is always a next step to be taken, a new journey to be embarked upon, and a new challenge to rise to.
We are a planning people, whether or not time management is a skill with which we are gifted. Though some of us have a knack for “winging it” and others prefer very detailed five-year life plans, each of us is moving toward a series of personal goals. For Arthur and the Badger, these are the tunnels that must be dug. For you and I, it is a new job, a new house, a New Year’s Resolution in the making, or simply a new dawn each and every morning. Life is forward moving, take a moment to rest, and remember how it feels to love your home.
That’s because home is what calms us; what centers us after hectic days of digging. Home is what makes all that digging worth it, in the end. That is why the second value the Badger teaches Arthur is how to love it.
Take a moment today to pause from your digging and contemplate the different homes you may have in your life. Those are the places, people or experiences that help define your purpose and ground you to it.
Decisions
“You cannot fully understand the relations of choice and Time until you are beyond both.” – C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce
Decisions are frightful things. They come in all shapes and sizes; as trivial as an ice cream flavor or as important as where to move for a new job opportunity. We are haunted by the possibility of making the “wrong” choice, and many of us agonize over them for days or weeks, or even longer.
But what is a “wrong” choice? If, after weighing all the options, we came to a conclusion and picked whatever we thought best for us, how could such a decision be “wrong”? Perhaps things don’t work out the way we thought they would, and often we start to blame ourselves for making the “wrong” choice. But life is generally unpredictable, and in the passage above, C.S. Lewis reminds us that choice and time go hand in hand, and we often don’t realize what choice we made until time has done its work revealing itself to us.
Whether it takes five minutes to learn you don’t like pistachio ice cream, or five years to learn you hate your “new” job, time has marched on with your choice. And so many other things have had a hand in the result. The carefully weighed pros and cons, the endless debates held in your own head, the way you thought it all would go… Sometimes it all ends up being nothing like you predicted.
So take a moment to relieve yourself of the pressure to make the perfectly right decisions. You know what you know when you know it, and the weight of time on your shoulders is an unnecessary burden. We’ve all pondered the question, “What would you do if you knew you would not fail?” The problem is, that is often how we like to dream up our decisions. But here’s a reframe for the decisions you think were “wrong:”
What would you have missed out on if you hadn’t failed?