There are red flags (signs or warnings) that may be present in a person or in a relationship that may cause you to question your actions or the status of the relationship.
- Holds stereotyped beliefs about the "proper" roles for women and men in society.
- Abuses alcohol or other drugs.
- Is more emotonally constricted, less emotionally expressive, less empathetic.
- Views sexual relations as "conquests."
- Has a history of trouble with the law, getting into fights, or breaking and destroying property.
- Doesn't work or go to school.
- Blames partner for how they are treated, or for anything bad that happens.
- Abuses siblings, other family members, children or pets.
- Puts down people, including partners family and friends - may call them names.
- Is always angry at someone or something.
- Tries to isolate partner and control who partner see or where partner goes.
- Nags or forces partner to be sexual even when partner doesn't want to be.
- Cheats on partner or has lots of partners.
- Is physically rough with partner (pushes, shoves, pulls, yanks, squeezes, restrains).
- Takes partners money or takes advantage of partner in other ways.
- Accuses partner of flirting or "coming on" to others or accuses partner of cheating.
- Doesn't listen to partner or show interest in partners opinions or feelings.
- Ignores, gives silent treatment to, or hangs up on partner.
- Lies to partner.
- Doesn't show up when expected or disappears for days.
- Makes vulgar comments about others in the presence of partner.
- Blames all arguments and problems on partner.
- Tells partner how to dress or act.
- Threatens to kill him/her self if partner attempts a break-up.
- Tells partner he/she can't live without partner.
- Experiences extreme mood swings...tells partner "you are the greatest" one minute and rips partner apart the next.
- Tells partner to shut up.
- Tells partner how stupid, dumb, fat or " " partner is.
- Compares current partner to former partners.
Other cues that might indicate an abusive relationship:
- You feel afraid to break up with him/her.
- You feel tied down, like you have to check in with your partner.
- You feel afraid of making decision or bringing up certain subjects so your partner won't get made.
- You tell yourself that if you just try harder and love your partner enough, everything will be just fine.
- You find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy.
- You find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep him/her happy.
- You find the physical or emotional abuse getting worse over time.